Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
