Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
