I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
