Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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