oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
