Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
