how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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