Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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