I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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