I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i now understand why vodka
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
