he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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