WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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