And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
