Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
