my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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