I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize