i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
