I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
You were trust falling into bushes
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
