awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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