Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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