They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
