She said her name was "party"
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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