Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
