He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize