Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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