weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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