last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
