She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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