Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize