I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
