..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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