I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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