Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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