is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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