just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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