Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
