is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's no shave November. This is our time.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize