she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
