I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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