just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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