i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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