what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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