if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
