Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm at about main and main street
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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