So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
