I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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