2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
