Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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