I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
