I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize