I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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