Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
