I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
