I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Randomize
