Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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