If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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