Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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