yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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