Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
