i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
