Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize