i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
