i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
